I didn’t always struggle with my weight. As a teenager my metabolism could have fuelled a small city, and I ate everything in sight without gaining a gram. I was skinny, and cocky about it. I went off to college, and gained a little weight, not too much, just moving from skinny to healthy, eating the revolting diet of college food.
I married, and, as so many contented wives do, gained a few more kilos keeping up with my husband’s appetite. Had two babies, went to Weight Watchers and lost about 12 kilos, reaching goal before having a third baby. It was when my father passed away that I really started to lose the weight fight. The night he died I sat by myself at the kitchen table, hours after the family had gone to sleep, and cried my way through most of a pecan Danish. I didn’t stop eating after that, and for the past eight years I have dealt with every negative emotion I feel by eating. Sad? I need hot chips. Lonely? I need a burrito. Bored? M&Ms.
It has now come to a head. I am starting to feel the worse effects of weight problems. I have been put on blood pressure medications, my knees ache on stairs, my ankles give way easily. I have been physically exhausted for years. It is time to do something for myself, and deal with this problem once and for all.
About 8 weeks ago I signed up for the Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation. It was a terrifying step to take. I felt as though I was going to spend a tonne of money, and was worried whether or not it would be a good investment. I was so hopelessly unfit that I scored a miserable 8 out of 99 on the initial fitness test. I was too unfit to even sign up for the beginners level, and so I registered for the Move program, which is designed for those of us who haven’t voluntarily left the couch in a long time.
The program started about 5 weeks ago, and already I am feeling so many differences, and have learnt more than I imagined I would. I felt that I knew the theory of weight loss already, having read every book and tried every method over the past few years. I was looking for motivation, but I thought I knew it all. I knew I was an emotional eater, but I had no idea that cutting out the food would bring all those emotions that I’d ignored back up to the surface for me to have to face again.
Anyway, since I began the program I have lost 4.3kg, and I can see a glimmer of hope down the path. I am going to try and journal my weight loss journey here, and see how it goes. Maybe then I had better start keeping my eyes open for unicorns.