Treating myself with kindness

Waterfall chasing

Waterfall chasing

Part of a lifestyle change has to include a change of attitude. In the past, when I slipped up and ate the wrong things, or did not meet my exercise goal, I would sink into a mire of self loathing, angry and disappointed at my lack of will power and self discipline. Real productive, huh? Especially when I would then continue eating the bad foods because “I had wrecked it all now” and to try and assuage the bad feelings.

I had a couple of treats this weekend, a nice lunch with family and a slap up roast dinner. I briefly felt bad, but then decided that I had enjoyed it, but I was now going to make good choices for the rest of the week, and that made it ok.

The fact of the matter is that life is never going to stick to the program. We are human, and fallible, and that is fine and right. A dodgy meal choice is not the end of the world, and not worth the stress of the guilt trip. Instead of feeling bad about a splurge, I want to feel proud that I didn’t totally drop my bundle, and that I will keep pressing forward, one bite at a time.

Back again…

DSC_0008Months between posts, again. My laptop died, and a whole lot of motivation with it. I am still working on my weight loss, and have officially made it to 9.8 kilos after two rounds. I have to confess that my level of effort has been below par, and I cannot blame the program at all for my slow progress. If I consistently exercised and ate well more often than not, I would be a lot further down the path.

Every day is a fresh start, though, so I am finishing the last week of this round as best I can, and planning for a much better third round.

Pictured above is today’s lunch, a tortilla pizza with mushrooms, prosciutto, onion, pesto, cherry tomatoes and fetta cheese, topped with a bit of rocket.

Weigh In Wednesday

Weigh in day comes around again. I like having a mid week weigh in. It means that a dodgy weekend is in the past and you are back on track when you hit the scales. This week was not my best week, but not my worst either.

Progress: I lost 600g, which is on track for a healthy rate of weight loss. I can’t complain about that, though at the same time, thinking of losing 40kg in 600g increments makes me want to cry.

What I did well: I have been avoiding temptation pretty well. The terrible lunches are not tempting me like they used to. I have been exercising above and beyond the plan guidelines. The Move program is aimed at the very unfit, and the cardio is considerably less than I am capable of doing. I did all four workouts this week, with a 5 kilometre walk and strength exercises at home. I am very proud of how much my fitness has improved.

Challenges: I had a cold over the weekend, and felt very tired. My incidental activity was low as a result. I also think it is time to switch to the lower calorie plan. As part of the Move program, there is a higher calorie allowance while you get accustomed to the idea of healthy eating. I am very short, and I think that maybe I have to be more careful with the food than I have been.

Goal for the upcoming week: I need to be extra focussed on the plan during next weekend, while an unexpected family visit is going on.

Weightloss, or unicorns? Both seem highly unlikely…


I didn’t always struggle with my weight. As a teenager my metabolism could have fuelled a small city, and I ate everything in sight without gaining a gram. I was skinny, and cocky about it. I went off to college, and gained a little weight, not too much, just moving from skinny to healthy, eating the revolting diet of college food.

I married, and, as so many contented wives do, gained a few more kilos keeping up with my husband’s appetite. Had two babies, went to Weight Watchers and lost about 12 kilos, reaching goal before having a third baby. It was when my father passed away that I really started to lose the weight fight. The night he died I sat by myself at the kitchen table, hours after the family had gone to sleep, and cried my way through most of a pecan Danish. I didn’t stop eating after that, and for the past eight years I have dealt with every negative emotion I feel by eating. Sad? I need hot chips. Lonely? I need a burrito. Bored? M&Ms.

It has now come to a head. I am starting to feel the worse effects of weight problems. I have been put on blood pressure medications, my knees ache on stairs, my ankles give way easily. I have been physically exhausted for years. It is time to do something for myself, and deal with this problem once and for all.

About 8 weeks ago I signed up for the Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation. It was a terrifying step to take. I felt as though I was going to spend a tonne of money, and was worried whether or not it would be a good investment. I was so hopelessly unfit that I scored a miserable 8 out of 99 on the initial fitness test. I was too unfit to even sign up for the beginners level, and so I registered for the Move program, which is designed for those of us who haven’t voluntarily left the couch in a long time.

The program started about 5 weeks ago, and already I am feeling so many differences, and have learnt more than I imagined I would. I felt that I knew the theory of weight loss already, having read every book and tried every method over the past few years. I was looking for motivation, but I thought I knew it all. I knew I was an emotional eater, but I had no idea that cutting out the food would bring all those emotions that I’d ignored back up to the surface for me to have to face again.

Anyway, since I began the program I have lost 4.3kg, and I can see a glimmer of hope down the path. I am going to try and journal my weight loss journey here, and see how it goes. Maybe then I had better start keeping my eyes open for unicorns.

Breakfast’s on Jamie

I have a deep abiding love for breakfast. Many of my favourite memories are built around plates piled with eggs, bacon and the occasional hash brown.

These eggs were inspired by Jamie Oliver’s television show, Jamie’s Great Britain. They were poached in cling wrap, sitting in a little smear of olive oil, fresh dill and salt and pepper. I served them atop steamed asparagus and buttered toast. Eating it felt luxurious and virtuous at the same time, with the delicious flavour and the virtue of vegetables at breakfast. We all loved it, except the child that detests eggs, who was fobbed off with toast and a tin of spaghetti.